Unfound reasons

                                                        

Sleepless nights pass by

With blank thoughts in my mind

Feeling nothing at all

I still wonder a reason not to be with.

Alone and not a soul to comfort,

Emptiness is my new friend

Never leaves, never betrays

Never lies nor does hurt.

 

Clinging onto me and my all

Those memories have taken control

On my mind, heart and soul

And I unable to find an escape

I still wonder a reason not to be with.

Not a hand to hold, not a shoulder to cry

My heart still beats for the love

And my eyes cry for the lies

Waiting at the same corner of separation

I stand and wait for everything I had.

Knowing those questions don’t have any answer

Nor do I stand a chance of revival

But I will still stand and wait,

Wondering a reason not to be with.

Living it up, Sipping it down!

While I am writing this, I have earphones plugged into my ears and full volume music. No, I am not ignoring the world, I am just trying to shut myself into my world of thoughts and memories and some of the times I never got a chance to express myself about.

Something about me, I am a person who does not like bothering people unless its real necessary, I keep to myself as much as I can and also make sure I am not a pain in the ass for others. Now if you reading this, you have a question why is she like this? I just have one answer- I am being me!

I have not been keeping well for the last one week and I am still not in my best health conditions. Leaving apart the technical and medical terms, there was this one major thing that did not let me become well and that was those unanswered questions in my life. I was still trying to find the answers to those questions and find the reasons to behind every happening unless I fell asleep last night. And today morning when I woke up, I realised maybe I don’t need to find them and maybe they will find us. For everything there is a perfect time and for this also times will come when I will have my answers and reasons which I have been searching for. Till then go on with life as its going on and don’t try to be a detective.

I do cry a lot and to prove that point there wouldn’t be a lack of people to justify that. But I don’t regret crying because I know I am sensitive and it’s a part of my nature with which I was born in this world. Just because some people point their fingers and laugh at me or make this whole thing a nuisance saying I create scenes, I can’t change myself. Let them call me names and term me anything but I don’t care. People whom I really care about, what they think are perfectly fine with me crying and will always take me back no matter what. A good thing about crying, it does lighten my heart and I feel as if some strong weight is lifted from my heart. So the next time you are sad, and you want to shed a drop of tear, don’t hesitate and go ahead.

Sometimes all you require is that heart to heart conversation with that old pal of yours whom you forgot or did not get time in months to sit and talk about anything and everything. Personal experience, it makes you feel amazing and better than ever. Let it be over a coffee, or a lunch date or maybe just a simple conversation while walking- whatever it is, have one so that it makes you feel that after all you are not a bad friend and neither did you insult being a friend J After all what friends are for ;)

To keep yourself away from the bothering situations of life and wailing times, keep yourself busy with whatever you can. I have suffered and I know how terrible it is when you see all your close ones being close to other chaps and you stay behind like a loser and nothing to do. To ignore everything happening around that causes stress and tension, do something that brings a smile on your face and makes you happy for a change. My year started off at a bad note and has not been going on quite well- dealing with family tantrums, relationship issues, academic hassle and trying to figure out who really my friends are to be carried along the next four years. But, optimistic as I always have been, I am praying things are back on track with everything perfect as it was. I always believe in karma and hope. Karma is a bitch but to those who are not worth the smooth roads and to those who are worth the joyous rides of life, I am sure the good times are yet to come J. And as for hope, it’s a matter of survival in every situation. So live with the hope and walk ahead with it as it will never ever leave you.

Bored of what you are then give yourself a change. But careful don’t change because others want you to, bring a change in yourself if only you want it and only for good. Makeovers don’t only happen of your external appearance, a makeover of your internal personality is very important. Its always what we want to show people and not we are. So show the world what you are and prove their judgement of you wrong. Not every word of what you have been thought as is right, sometimes there’s this feeling which we get by proving people wrong and it feels so awesome. Don’t make others realise the importance of your presence, make them realise how their life would be by making them realise your absence. No, I am not giving you lectures on life and blah! I am just summarising on few of those feelings I went through in the past two weeks and how I have been dealing with it and I am not gonna be a loser ‘cause everyone was born to be a winner.

Go ahead, live your life the way you want to, but live it right and correct.

CHEERS TO LIFE!

Dark Path

Walking on the dark path,
with no hint of a light beam
I go ahead in my journey,
to live some dreams of mine and some of others.

Evil is surrounding,
Love is abandoning,
with no choice to turn back,
I keep walking on the dark path.

Lost, alone, clueless and confused,
stuck at the thoughts of you forever,
in search of some streak of hope,
I keep walking o the dark path.

No needs, no wants, no regrets, no grievances,
a glimpse of your face, a whisper of your voice
is all that I long for and live this life, as
I keep walking on the dark path.

A thought of spending New Years

The year 2011 was quite an eventful one and many of you reading this wouldn't agree to it less. For some of us who gave boards, results tension, college admissions and confusions and exams tensions :P But then yet again everything happens for a reason. We all  lived some moments, committed mistakes and learnt lessons, and yet again all these are different chapters of a book called Life :)

New years is all about doing something new, something we have never done and something we always left for the last. This year take resoultions that you will actually follow and not just laugh about later saying just for the sake of taking :P I still remember last year when I decided I will be full on sincere towards everything I do in life but that i wasn't honestly. So let's see things we should do this new year and try our hundred percent to follow them ;)

Make some new friends and give your old friends a call and make them realise you still remember them :) and facebook is anyway there. Scroll through your friend list and look at those names which once were a regular name in your call list and inbox :D

and if that also doesn't refresh your memory then why not take a look at the grade ten and grade twelve farewell pictures and laugh and smile at those moments which were such a big deal once upon a time and now they just mean some good old times :) send them a text and give your old friends a surprise and enemies a shock :P ;)

Do something new, crazy and innovative :) It's I know not possible for many but try making somethings possible ;) Give a try with colours and paint your thoughts, pick up a pen and write some words you always have wanted to express but never could, put on your dancing shoes and dance to some radio tunes or grab your mp3 or i-pod player, close your room doors and dance at full volume. Feel free and enjoy what life has in store for you and not cry upon things that happened and cannot be changed.

All our times we want to party and spend with our friends but why not for a change spend few days with those people who are behind you what you are now. Few hours spending with them though might not make you that much happy and sufficed but it will surely bring a smile on their faces and sometimes giving happiness to others is a lot! :D The ones who already spend enough time with your parents, awesome you all are and some who are still thinking, how about spend some few minutes sitting wit your mom or dad and talk about your day, your next day plans or how about include them in your plans ;) i am sure they would love to join you and your fun :) and as about me you would be thinking do I? Yes, I do include them in my plans :)






Oh that reminds me, not to forget your grandparents. Some are lucky to have grandparents and spend time with them and some like me a little unlucky on that part :( obviously you can't include them in your plans but you can make plans with them :D Grab a tea or a coffee and talk some of their old times and some of your new times.

                                             
I know, I know..who am I to advise you on what to do on new years,but hey who is advising you. I am just giving my opinion of spending a new years a way which many of you might have already spent it or many of you would like to. As it is, this year 2012 is all hyped up with movies and books already out before it arrived :P and never the less people found ways in that also to earn their own profits! can't blame it coz it's human nature ;)

For those who still have a hope that 2012 this world might end, get over it people we won't end so easily. After all God has bigger plans for all of us and I am sure they are going to be a surprise. 2012 is indeed going to be very interesting for each of us and yes, in a short conversation with a dear friend of mine, she told me why do I feel this coming year is going to be an awesome and happy one and being an optimist  I couldn't agree to it less.




So let me wrap this up and leave all you readers with a pleasant thought of falling in love, making new friends and doing some good to people and giving life another chance.

A Happy New Year and have a great year ahead.
cheers!

A peek into The City Of Joy :)

Kolkata the city of joy, not known for parties not known for glamour and neither known for power, rather known for its authenticity and culture. Not that i have lived all my life here, but how much time i have ever spent in this place makes me attached to this place stronger than ever. This city has its own shine with those tiny "chaa-dokans" (tea stalls) at every corner of each old lane of this place, the cricket madness which blooms like a flower during every cricket match, there is still a beautiful feeling in every cricket fan to watch a cricket match in the "eden gardens".

Even after so many decades, this place has though progressed on the road of development but its still the same old city preserving its richness of culture. This city is an exotic blend of conventional and modern lifestyle. Living up to expectations of every tourist, this city doesn’t leave any visitor disappointed. With those road side shopping, mishit doi (sweet curd) and the rickshaw rides, the city never fails to bring a smile on my face.

 

Trams being a major highlight of this city, is still a localite’s mode of transport. But sadly, there are some prick heads who do not like the existence of such awesome transport. Kolkata tram is the oldest operating electric tram in Asia and has been running since 1902. (sources : wikipedia)                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                              

         

                                                                                                  

The city whose taxis are distinguished by the colour yellow. With the congested roads and heavy traffic, these taxis still dominate the city roads instead of the dial taxis :P they are like a joy ride which can take you

across the city provided you have cash in your wallet. :P But to every problem there is a solution and to the cash issues, comes the metro. Kolkata was the first city in India where underground metro was introduced. 

Apart from these highlights, the best one to focus is the festival of "durga puja". The town is packed with people from all over the world. Every year people visit during this time just to witness the four day festival where bengalis specially rejoice to their heart's content and reconnect with their family and friends, Not only bengalis but each and every kolkatian enjoys this four days festival. :)

                                                  

 

Durga Puja is an occasion when the familiar sound of Dhak, Dhunuchi nachh,the mild fragrance of Shiuli, gives a familiar tug to every Bengali heart. Sculptures work for months to carve out the beautiful idols and the pandals. There are neck to neck competitions between the pandals of different neighbourhoods and communities, each being not less than a wonder. Pandal viewing is an all night thing where people queue up justt to have a proper glimpse of the pandals, inside out. Personally, I have seen so many that have literally made me gasp and made me feel like capturing them all in one picture. 

Another aspect of this city that pulls crowd to this city is the culture of art and music. There are numerous bands that play music of every form and apart from ethnic "Rabindra Sangeet" (songs written by Rabindranath Tagore) , they come up with some great rock bengali music and classical as well. My father always used to force me to listen to the traditional folk and some local band songs, but immatured me never bothered listening to them. But as i grew up, i started developing a taste for them giving break to the holly and bolly songs. In fact there are many bolly movies that have used the music of rabindra sangeet and imposed their own lyrics and there are few who are aware of it. 

Finger-licking food is one unavoidable highlight. Starting from A to Z, all types of delicacies are available. Fish being the traditional delicacy, there are various preparations of fish. You name it, and you get it. :)

A proper bengali cuisine will make you want more of it :P

The sweets of this city is unbeatable and the tastiest one might have ever had. The famous being "roshogolla", I pop in so many at a time when I get to eat them after months regardless how many calories and how much weight i will gain :P This time when I took a box of roshogolla and opened it in front of my friends, all I was returned was an empty box. :/    

                                                                                         

   

This third largest metropolitan city of India is one of the few among the lot to provide ethnicity along with modern lifestyle. All you need is a visit and then you get to experience what i experience every day that i spend in my city, my Kolkata, where i was born, spent few years but it awaits me with the same warmth i leave with everytime.

And of course you need a personal guide contact me :P This is not some tourism publicity of the city or some advertisement. It's just a Kolkata that you must have never seen in  magazines and heard in TV shows. It's the Kolkata from my eyes what I see it as and what it actually is. :)

End of a semester in VIT !

On 5th July, when I came to VIT never thought I would with end up with such awesome friends and acquaintances. Life is full of surprises and I received loads of them from this place itself. First few days were when I was craving to go back home but as time passed by, I don't have the former exciting urge of going, rather I don't feel like leaving. Home is calling me with all pampers, home food, gifts, family time and rest but here I  will leave at VIT a part of me which cannot enjoy anywhere except here.

A semester just passed like that with all the CATs, quizes and term ends tensions accompanied by some great time with friends, stalkers, not so cool hostel wardens and the tolerable(after 6 months :P) rules :) Some great seniors who helped not only to survive here but to adjust, some friends who were always there with me in my best and worst and obviously my room mates who tolerated  me all through this while :D

My three best friends Akshita, Anisha and Shubha are among those few people in the college who are as awesome as me and that's why we rock ;)
They are little gone cases in their own ways but at the end of the day they prevail to the phrase " If you have friends like us, you don't need enemies " :P ;) and I love them.

A part of me as I mentioned above, Harish who has always been a best-friend, a support, a mentor and my love :) An awesome person by heart and who plays sexy guitar ;) He makes me survive the hard times in this college and without him there would be something missing in my life.

My roomie Krishna who tolerates my tantrums, is a partner at crime with me and does a lot of crazy stuff with me. :P We gossip (ya we do like any other girl), we fight for the silliest reasons and laugh our heart out. Even after I change my room, I will remember the epic times we spent in room # 211 at the suu-kyi block. ;)

My neighbour Aditi, the craziest of the lot who loves pills for some reason and has an amazing sense of styling and I still wonder what the hell is she doing in VIT and I ask her this question every time she does something to amaze me and she ends up with the same answer " I don't know " :P That's what i love her for :P

And there are so many people who deserve to be on this blog post and be written about like Vishal, Atul, Arjun(both of them :P), Drishti, Taneesha, Gokul, John, Rony, Ayush, Akshay, Skandan, Lakshya, Ankita and Deepika.

All I have to convey is that after all this when we wish to stay at home, at some point of time we will miss the anna's whistling, the food court rush, the java talks, the jams at music room, the basket ball games, the flo chilling and there are endless such things that will make us miss VIT. Don't know about you all but I would definitely miss the " VIT times ". With an amazing Gravitas experience, I am waiting for the Rivera 2012 to surprise me more :D

cheerio to all of you and happy holidays :)

Decisions

Circumstances arise creating confusions
heart picks the wrong,mind supports the right,
ignoring world's criticism and comments,
I walk ahead taking my decisions.

Tearing apart my soul in the process,
to choose and to leave the ones I love,
not having any one to give me a lending ear,
I walk ahead taking my decisions.

Making some smile with all intentions,
and being responsible for some unintentional teardrops,
changing my path,directing towards a new beginning,
I walk ahead taking my decisions.

Decisions are not easy to make
Obstructed by emotions and practicality
nature demands a verdict at the end, and
I walk ahead taking my decisions.